God Calls Louder
I'm disemboweled
no matter how much
I try
To stuff me back inside
Another fragile organ plops
I try
Keeping silent,
I try looking the other way
I try not getting involved
But then
Children lack
Run away and
Never come back
I try
Not to take you or me or them so seriously
When I try those tries
Children starve
Children cry
Children die.

The Task...My Covenant...It's Personal
(should you decide to accept this mission)

Baptize and
Pitting your God against
Any god that man will challenge you with
The god of criticism and alienation
The god of self medication
The god of drunken stupors
And unfounded rumors
The god of over eating and self defeating
The god of darkness and fear of night
The god of negligence and oversight
The god of exhaustion and worry
The god of slow down what's the hurry
The god of doubt and being without
The god of no you can't go
Tell them to bring their gods
If they dare
Then step behind me
As God above I promise uncensored love
Yolantha, I care and

I'm Excited
There is anticipation of
What my flesh can handle or understand
There is anticipation
At the knowledge of my past failures

God overrides
“I know, Yolantha, I know.”
I bless you through your failures
So that I,
Might succeed
It's my turn now.
Go forth and multiply
Using the special equipping testimony tools of your life.”

I'm excited.

The Proposal
Do you, Yolantha, take God Almighty to be your spiritually wedded God?
I do.
(What next?)

Guerilla Warfare
“Yes, Lord Jesus. I'll go!”
Excitement poured all over me
And clung to me like expensive perfume.
My innards, hip-hopped, waltzed and promenaded
Trying to tame my childlike heart
Once I said yes, I thought folks would be overjoyed and supportive. But quite the contrary, folks thought I was plum crazy. Some were supportive of my call to missionary work, but thought that I was a lunatic to even consider going to Haiti. I even had 2 “celebrity types” in the African American community admonish me for going to Haiti.

“We go to Africa” the television actress announced boldly.

“Why?” I responded, “Haiti is so much closer.”

“It's too dangerous. There is a certain longitude and latitude quadrant that Americans aren't encouraged to travel within, because of the risk factor. Haiti falls in that quadrant.”

“What risk factor?”

“Haiti is unpredictable and doesn't play by America's rules.” She then laughed. “If they kidnapped you, we have no bargaining chips by which to get you back.” She had a point, but then I thought sadly that the only African Americans that America would pay a ransom for is Oprah and Obama. So I wasn't really worth kidnapping.

Kentucky folks asked, “Ain't you skeered?” nodding their heads in that yes way that I learned as a convincing strategy in business when you want an opponent to agree with you or a potential client to make a purchase from you.

Well I wasn't “skeered”. But this ain't the first time I was too ignorant to know to be afraid.

Business As Usual
Now that I've said yes,
Every thing has
Tilted off of its axis.
Nothing is in balance
What's happening to me?
Every thing is off.
I can't find a norm.
A place to chill out.
Everything is on display
Everything is under the microscope.
My eyes are bugged out like frog's, watching
My ears are drooped like elephant's, hearing
But they hone in like the
Sonar radar of a bat, listening,
It's nothing I can place my fingers on
Yet when I touch things
Their textures burn
Past my known layer of skin.
I feel things beneath a deeper within.
Something is about to happen.
The gun is lifted, the flags are raised,
The engines are revving
The horses are pressed hard against the gate.
Volcanic energy is exploding in my womb
Yet I am compelled to walk around
Pretending that everything is
‘business as usual.'

What Am I Made of?
Since saying yes
Satan tries me and challenges me to see
What I am made of.
Since saying yes,
I've lost my 5 bedroom 3 full bath home.
God quickly provided me a new home.
Since saying yes
I've been in 3 car wrecks.
2 cars were totaled
One accident sent
The person in front of me
And the person behind me to the hospital
Yet I was totally unscathed.
Each time
God quickly provided me with new transportation.
Since saying yes,
One year I had personally saved all of the finances needed for my trip to Haiti. Christmas Eve of Christmas Eve, December 23rd,…there was a knock on my door. I opened the door and there stood two policemen in full uniformed regalia, their palms casually resting on their weapons. They asked for my husband and escorted him to jail. It took all of my Christmas shopping money and Haiti savings to get my husband back so he'd be home on Jesus' birthday. God quickly provided sponsors that year for me to do His work.

Since saying yes,
My husband got fired from his professorship and he has never recovered. God helped me to quickly find work.

Since saying yes
My father-in-law died a week before I was to leave for Haiti. Nobody told me until 8 hours before I was to board my plane. God quickly comforted me and said, “get on the airplane, let the dead bury the dead, I have a village full of living children waiting for us.”

Since saying yes,
In 2008 I got banned from traveling with the organization I had been traveling with for 7 years. After a one year hiatus, God provided ways for me to travel independently in order to continue to do His work.

Now I focus on a new yes.
The “yes” of God. Which is probably the focus I should have had all along.

Accepting the plight of a Christian's heart
This Jesus addiction feels so exasperatingly good.
Is this what every crack and heroin addict is chasing after?
There is this relief of joy
As each challenge is rewarded
With a promise
As I come out of hibernation
And rise higher,
Buffeted by the Holy Spirit wind as I morph
From caterpillar to butterfly to
Eagle rising.

God's Promise To An Obedient Woman...It's Personal
II Deuteronomy 15:9
If the poor cry out to God against you
For not meeting their need,
Then you have sinned.

II Deuteronomy 15:10
Don't give to the poor with a grieved heart.
My Deuteronomy promise to you, Yolantha, is that I, God,
Will bless you in all your words
In all that you put your hand on.
I will honor whatever you do or give to the poor,
Everything else you do,
Everything else you touch
Will be blessed.
I am going to take it a step further
Likewise anyone who takes mercy on you and your family
And assists you in the work that I am doing through you,
They too,
I will bless.
It's personal.

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