The Christmas Tree
On my way to home visits
Today I struggled
My homesickness strangled me
Today I served
A hundred and eighty something starving kids at Vacation Bible School
What difference can I make?
Who do I think I am?
God, forgive me for presuming!
The heat was intense in my nostrils
I breathed it in
Thick like hot molasses
The pain of the uphill climb
Was finally beginning to psyche me out
My age was ringing its toll
“one foot in front of the other,
One foot in front of the other”
I chanted over and over
I rounded the path wearing a back pack
Loaded with beans, rice, toothpaste, toothbrushes
Miniature hotel soaps, miniature shampoos and lotions
A long strapped purse draped over one shoulder
Full of baby clothes,
I strained barely keeping another pouch
2 inches off the ground
Full of girly-girl things
I painstakingly rounded the end of the old rugged road
The site slapped me in the face
A site that threw me onto the knees of my heart
A bush adorned
Like a Christmas tree
Fully adorned with foam Crosses
The crosses the children made in Vacation Bible school this morning
Surely the burning bush of Moses burned as bright as this.

Ocean Spit
I have nothing to my name
Except a van
3 televisions
A lawnmower and a piano
And 2 daughters.
No savings
No retirement
No traditional job
No insurance
No benefits
But the call came…
“Whom shall I send?"
I answered
"Send me."
It's like spitting in the ocean,
What difference am I making
Against the helplessness
Of extreme poverty
To a nation
From a place in a nation
Where I have no clout
No personal economic power
Yet to the children of Haiti
I am an American
I am their color
And to them, I am rich
To the village children
I smell of hope
Something in my
Journey as an American
In my battles with racism and bigotry and welfare
As an American
In my years of horrendous domestic abuse
As an American
Gives compassion to my passion
So I spit and I spit and I spit
Into the ocean
Til' I'm dry
Then I suck on the inside of my jaws
And I spit again
Because I not only comprehend
I understand.

Sweet Smelling Sacrifice
Reading through one of my past blue books I discovered a scripture reference. I had scrawled Philippians 4:10-20. This scripture validated one of God's earlier promises to me in America during my personal turmoils of domestic violence, joblessness, poverty and evictions. The 17th verse states that Paul is most appreciative of the consistency of love and gifts from the church of Philippi. But Paul expresses that he is even more excited over “the well earned reward you will have because of your kindness…they are like a sweet smelling sacrifice that pleases God well. And it is He who will supply all your needs from His riches in glory.” (Living Bible paraphrased) In this joy I have a sisterhood with Paul, because something inside me glows for the kingdom gifts waiting for those who encourage and support me in God's calling on my life on behalf of the children of Haiti. There will be an asterisk in each of their lives come judgment day that says “and because you did ‘this' for Yolantha I shall bless you with…” (Living Bible paraphrased) To me, like to Paul…that is awesome.

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